working and ED dont mix

i have to work today. dont get me wrong, i like making money. the only problem is when youre restricting, working with pizza all day just makes it 100x harder. i would love to just binge on food at work and then purge...but i cant do that. i cant purge in a bathroom that isnt mine. and i just know that everyone will know what im doing anyway. why i thought i could handle working at pizza hut, lll never know. my therapist once said that maybe i should just get a new job. yea ok, let me go do that. because finding a job in this shitastic economy is just so fucking easy!!! not. i mean come on...im looking for a second job and am getting nowhere.
so ill go to work today on haven eaten nothing. will probably drink a 2liter of diet pepsi to get my mind off of that smell of food. then look at every piece of pizza that is sitting out for us telling myself that its bad and its just going to make me fat since i know how many calories are in every single fucking item at the hut!! work shouldnt be this fucking stressful!! yet i deal with it every damn time i go. plus i always end up bringing shit home to eat and throw up. but seriously, my chest and throat hurt and im not in the mood to purge today. at all. it would be nice if i can just go that whole day without eating at all. because that would make me happy. as shitty as it makes me feel...it make me happy. im on a weight losing streak and id like it to stay that way. ive lost 6lbs in 2 days and im very happy about that. i dont want to fuck it all up because i was weak and had to have some pizza!!! guess ill just drink my diet pop and deal. its all i can do.