laxatives

how in the hell can people go through their day when theyve taken 20+ laxatives? i cant even take 2 without having severe cramps. they suck yet i keep taking them.

anyway today wasnt any better then today. i should really go back to therapy, but seriously, 1 hour a week does not help. at all. i should really go to inpatient...but i have no time. at all. and its not even an excuse. i dont know how i would pay my bills when im not working, dont know who would take care of my dog...
too much going on to just drop everything and go inpatient. wish life could just stop like that.