php

have some updating to do!! i went to see my therapist for the first time in 2 years last week. she told me exactly what i thought she was going to say...she wants me to go into php (partial hospital program). im not sure if i really want to do it or not. the only problem is that its 30 hrs a week. i would have to take leave from subway for god knows how long and would have to change my pizza hut schedule. plus ill have to ask my dad for money and go on a meal plan. ive been restricting non stop for the past 3 1/2 weeks losing 16 lbs in that short amount of time. i must say that now that ive found all this control to restrict, i dont want to give it up. ive never been able to restrict like this before. now i can and its great. its so hard to move away from! luckily i have my best friend supporting me. ive never had anyone support me the way he has. he went to therapy with me, checks on my phone for calorie counting shit, eats with me and makes sure im not purging in the bathroom. hopefully he continues to support me throughout this process!! its nice to have someone to really care enough about you to take that step.

well anyway...ill keep updating on here with whats going on with the whole php thing. my therapist wants me to go asap...like in 2 weeks. dont know if ill be able to or not. i have a feeling its where im going to end up tho. :/