prozac, zoloft, and cymbalta oh my!!

i need to go back on anti-depressants. its not even a question anymore. my depression is coming back. and i fear itll only get worse. i just cant keep fighting it back. ive been wanting to restrict or purge or anything so bad! i just dont want to push my friends out and be miserable all the time cuz it sucks. i dont want ED to be my only friend. i feel like i need to do something destructive to feel ok. im getting depressed about being behind on my diet, being behind on my running, and being way behind in school. i need to go back to group but i currently dont have a car. i need to call the center back and set up an appointment with whoever the shrink is there now. i hate drugs but i need them to help me. :(