mood killer

i was on st cecilias website to see when the festival is and i noticed they have an eating and weight issues group. so i went, of course. and it would figure that im the only bulimic person there. everyone else over eats. so theres like 5 of us and we're going around talking and they're talking about recipes and stuff and laughing with each other. and then they get to me. i start talking about my shit and everything suddenly gets serious. awesome. i dont like sympathy. it makes me feel awkward. and the whole situation was awkward. usually how it is when you're the only one with an eating disorder in the group. it was like everyone was suddenly quiet and totally focused on me. it was like being back in IOP and telling everyone that i was 12 points behind on my meal plan(which i was so proud of). but yea...it was that feeling. like an oh shit its heavy in here feeling. ill probably go back tho. mainly because they were nice and want me to come back.

i feel like im forever going to be a psych patient. awesome.