Tuesday, July 6, 2010

bad vs good

group tonight. i ended up talking, once again, about how i will not change on the fact that there is good food and bad food. back in IOP they tried to tell me that there is no bad food. as long as it fits in your meal plan, you can eat it. my deal is that after 21 years of thinking one way, i can not be changed that quickly. i feel like this is more than likely a problem. if i cant accept that there is no bad food, i will forever be bulimic. but having your mom tell you almost everyday of your life that everything you eat is bad, it becomes part of your way of thinking therefore making it almost impossible to change. and what makes it more ridiculous is that there are sub groups of good and bad foods. for example, say you have grilled chicken. this is considered a good food to my mom. it has good protein in it and its not fried. but, if you have an extra piece, its bad. so a good food can ultimately turn into bad if you have seconds. i can eat any good food (veggies, chicken....hell even pasta) but as soon as ive eaten more then my mom considers too much, it is bad. doesnt matter what it fucking is. its bad. no ifs ands or buts. i now think this way. i have been mind fucked by my mom and her strange relationship with food. i see no end to this. and sorry if this paragraph doesnt make sense. i didnt even try to make it go together.

4 comments:

  1. hi! this is kind of random and weird, but I noticed you're from columbus (right? cbus?) ohio and so am I. where did you go to group tonight? i was really considering going to a support group tonight but I chickened out of it...maybe it would have been the same one!

    ReplyDelete
  2. hey sorry this took me awhile. but yea i live in columbus! i go to the center for balanced living. its in worthington. they have a website...so just google the place. support groups are the first and third tuesdays of the month from 630-8. so the next group is this coming tuesday!

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh yep, that's where I go lol. I went to the Center for therapy years ago, and I went to one group meeting at the beginning of the summer but haven't had time to go back :( I would go on tuesday, but I could only make one or two more meetings for the rest of the summer!

    ReplyDelete
  4. i used to go to therapy there too. was in IOP last year as well. and yea i understand. it can be hard to get there every month sometimes!!

    ReplyDelete