fail x2

ok. so im bad at keeping up with this.

so note on nutrisystem. does it work? yes. i lost 10 lbs. is it too expensive? fuck yes. i do not have 300 extra bucks to blow on gross food every month. plus i felt like i was starving the whole time. i lost 10 lbs...but gained them back.

good news is that i havnt purged or restricted for quite awhile. my depression is very low and im feeling pretty good. its not like i dont think about going back to ED everyday, cuz i do. but it gets me know where. ill probably just be on a diet forever trying to lose weight.

something new has grabbed my interest tho. awhile ago i was watching secret lives of women on WE and it was an episode about diets. one girl was a raw foodist. i thought it was crazy at the time, but have thought about it often. i figured i should probably start eating breakfast and looked for smoothies i can drink and came upon a raw food site with a shit ton of recipes. i also searched the website and found recipes for raw pasta and other stuff that looked good. basically im considering going raw. im thinking this is kind of out there for me since i cant see myself never eating hot food or anything else i eat. but i considered starting slow with smooties and some raw meals and see where it takes me. im hoping this helps with weight loss...and i should probably start running again. and taking this slow is definately a better idea than changing over night. plus i have to figure out what the fuck and where i can buy maca and lacuma powder.